Tentena, Week 2

Yoga with Sophie Bean

Where are all the pet owners. 

There's really no debating the fact that Western cultures think it’s perfectly normally and even indicative of your sense of humanity to coddle cats and dogs like they’re special little people and put time, energy, and money into making sure they’re clean, well-fed, and loved for the angels they are.

Most of Tentena does not agree.  In fact, dog is actually a delicacy here so the true humanitarians are the ones who simply don’t eat them.  That’s it.  That’s their big sign of respect.  Everything else—petting, feeding, housing—that’s for the crazies.  The crazies like Jaime and me who stop and stare at those pooches, snapping shots, and gurgling at them with high-pitched nonsense.  For a few days, Lian humored Jaime in her rant about how “dogs just want to be man’s best friend!!” but at this point, she’s no longer interested in hearing it.  She thinks dogs are terrifying and has women and children to save. 

To add to that, my first or second night here, one of the cats that hangs around Lian’s house gave birth to four kittens and I lost it.  I sat and stared at those newbies nursing in love and astonishment for hours, genuinely concerned about their wellbeing and happiness.  Lian just kept shaking her head at me and asking me what I was doing.  Then, two days ago, I came to the Institute and the kittens were out on the porch, looking lost and afraid and really sick.  One had even been throwing up.  I know nothing about cats but suddenly felt that the time had come for me to save their species. I tore into the house, demanded someone tell me what the word for milk was (“Sousou”), and then turned around and went running down the street to all the tiny little vendor stands yelling out “Sousa!  Sousa!” imploring town folk to provide me with a non-existent thing because sousa is not a word.  As if that wasn’t ridiculous enough, no one actually drinks anything but condensed milk here and even then it’s hard to find.  The group of 8 or 9 year old girls that started followed me around in pure bewilderment while I was mid this inexplicable plight were unapologetic abut looking at me like I was an actual unstable person.  In hindsight, I guess I can sort of see why.  Plus, after I failed in trying to find sousou I came back to Lian’s and discovered that someone much more rational than me had located the Mama Cat and calmly placed the kittens in a cardboard box with her.  They were nursing and fine.  Looks like sometimes I maybe overreact to some situations. 

I'm Learning Other Things Too.

Specifically, about how to create curriculum for male perpetrators of domestic violence and about the ways in which gender-based violence was woven into the Poso Conflict.  How can intimate partner violence be exacerbated in the aftermath of social and cultural conflicts, if at all?  What’s the gender equity culture here, really?  Is there a way that men could voluntarily agree to participate in perpetrator groups?  Can the justice system help us with that?  What are the best ways we can create safety plans and options for men, women, and children interested in breaking cycles of violence? 

These are the questions Lian has asked me to explore, and these are the things I’ve been thinking about this week.  There is so much to learn and so much work to be done here. As I overheard someone say while I was eavesdropping on a conversation this morning, Poso is a clean slate.  Most work to be done here is work done for the first time.  Instead of naming everything that’s wrong with a broken and bureaucratic system, I feel like there’s room, here, to create.  And it’s refreshing.  I want to do everything I can to ensure that I’m helping and not harming, but Lian is a leader here, surrounds herself with good people, and I trust that I have strong insight to guide me through this. 

One of those good people is Sondang.  Here is the closest thing I could get to a picture of her (and Sophie):  

Everyone told us that women aren’t allowed to smoke here but Sondang smokes wherever she wants and doesn’t care.  She says if it’s not around pregnant women, children, or the old and sick, why does it matter.  She’s unapologetic.  She speaks English near perfectly but doesn’t always want to admit it.  And best of all, she’s a mental health worker—a counselor who travels around to conflict ridden areas working with gender-based violence and trauma.  It took a few days before anyone let me in on that little tidbit of juicy gossip but once I found out, the questions did not stop.  Sondang, do you guys diagnosis here?!  Sondang, how do people talk about health and wellbeing?  Sondang, what kind of therapy do people use?? Is there stigma?  Where have you worked?  Do you know people that I can connect to?  Where do I go to wash these dishes?  I want a cookie.

I’m thrilled to have her as a resource and energized by my current opportunities to learn from, contribute to, and engage with this community of extremely gracious souls. 

Pictures of Tentena Life are below.  

My hotel room

Lunging with Sophie because it's too rainy to run.